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- "You show me a bloke who likes the Pet Shop
Boys and I'll show him the back of my hand!"
- "And another thing...I have NEVER drunk
Pimm's either!"
- "Mr Benn was the only one to arrive in fancy
dress for the final game"
- "Ken Bates enjoys fooling the faithful with
his disguise"
- "There's not a beard in sight as Leeds get
ready for promotion."
-
"Stand on one leg if your not gay!"
- "Cossie now realised it was time to turn the
central heating back on."
- "Mrs C's butler was
asked to get some more
ice for her large G and T."
- "Get yer bird to get her chipped front tooth
fixed will you, Bridgey. I could hardly get me
shorts on this mornin'."
- "I'm so sorry to have upset you JT but I thought
you knew Dire Straits split up in 1995."
- "Eh, eh, eh, I wish I played for Leeds, Stevie G"
- "Bob puts the final touches to Rory's Christmas
card and hopes Betty doesn't mind the language
he's used."
- "Sam The Man is about to send his Christmas
card to Anton du Beke."
- "Bob prepares to post Rory's Christmas card
but fears the online translator has gone
wrong again"
- "Mrs C regretted the day she let Mr C talk her
into applying for Mongolian Wife Swap."
- "L&P's cheap week away in Turkey now seemed
like a bad idea. For starters, there was no TV."
- "The SW Coach/L&P house swap left the
southerners feeling hard done by."
- "I do like to keep abreast of what's going on
in the armed forces"
- "And if I move this hand I'll feel a right tit"
- "Mr C gave up waiting for another person
to join him in the Embrace chat room"
- "Even Pxyzyzygy had to admit that 3,000
Hindi Devotional downloads was too much
for one evening"
- "The contest to see who got to sleep in
Barrowman's tent at Glasto was down to
the last 3 competitors"
- "Try as they might, Don Estelle and Tony
Hancock just couldn't out-spoof Mr C"
- "Cossie (who has right of call as he is clearly
nearest to London Bridge): Two Hats"
- "Archive pictures of Dr. Who Jon Pertwee
emerging from the original Tardis are found
at the BBC."
- "How many Poles do you think we will get?"
asked the oldest remaining Apprentice candidate.
"He's so fired", thought Margaret, as she
imagined Sir Alan taking her to a better place
with his chopper.
- "I have just pleasured myself, here, smell."
- "And this is a picture of Sarah being
spit-roasted by Milli Vanilli"
- "A record crowd gathered for the 2009 Paper
Scissors Stone final and it was a nervous start
from the Scottish competitor."
- So ARSene, you've bought ARShavin but you
pretty much haven't won anything since you
got rid of MANU Petit have you? Geddit?!"
- "LUFC's thuggish image is ruined as 2 of
their celebrity fans are spotted drinking
Pinot Grigio before the game."
