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- "Cossie knew it was a bad idea to let his
   wife pack his case for Glastonbury."

- "Spiderman and the invisible man enjoy
    the Glastonbury Festival"


- "Don't think I've forgotten!!!"


- "Times were hard for the Royals. First the yacht
   was taken from them and now their train had
   been replaced."

- "There had better be a buffet car Phillip."


- "Three large fries, 2 Big Macs, 4 chocolate
    milkshakes and a Happy Meal please."


- "Rooney says I've got to grow my hair like a
    toilet brush... cos that's where I'm headed
    next month!!"

- "How would he tell his mum he'd just lost her
   favourite earrings?"

- "The axing of Top Of The Pops hit the young
    Cristiano very hard."

- "One can tarmac one's front yard for how

- "I've heard your selling some knock off England
    kits. It that true?"


- "Nancy looks very rough in the morning before
    applying her make up!"

- "Miss Chernobyl 1986 enjoys day out at an
    England game"

- Cossie waits to vote in the "Leeds are definitely
   going up" tent.

- "Nuts! I'm totally crackers"

- "New Model Army fans meet up at their newly
    renamed AGM"

- "What experience do I have?  Well I'm
    very good at waving."

- "Does one get wafers with the tea?"

- "No maam, you have my seat. I don't
    mind standing!"


- "Yep... it's definitely quick sand."


- "Internet dating in Wales didn't turn out to be
   quite what was expected!"

- "What do you call this... can I have the real
   R2D2 back please"

- "err... can someone help me... I've got my left
   hand stuck"

- "I like the go faster flames, but to be honest I
   really can't see myself winning the Monte Carlo
   rally in this!"

- "For my important business trips I always take
  this one instead of the Elise.. it seems to impress
  the customers!"

- "After visiting Phil in Newtown, Wales over a
  snowy weekend I wasn't looking forward to the
  four hour drive home!"

- "You got that? A large pepperoni for me and Will
   wants a Hawaiian deep pan"... Now where's
   Dad's wallet?

- "Is that Pest Control?... I've got a problem with
   one of my brothers!"

- "Hi boss, sorry but I'm not feeling well today."

- "Emma was hoping that it was only her platform
   shoes that Simon had borrowed!"

- "No matter how hard he tried, Neil still couldn't
   convince the bouncer he was over 18"

- "Look I've swallowed one of my ears!"

- "Unlike Phil (left), Dom has yet to feel the early
    effects of the laxative laced gobstopper."

- "As a frequent visitor to Bangkok it was going to
    take a lot for Phil to get worked up by Dom's
    ping pong routine."

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